Outrage as Celts forced to support "England in Red"

Twickers, 6th Feb 2004

The Celtic Nations today expressed dismay that Sir Clive Woodhead, Inter-Hemisphere Champion Coach and Intergalactic �Best-prepared-guy-there-ever-was� is to coach the 2005 Lions� tour of New Zealand.

A spokesman for the combined �Irish, Scottish and Welsh Emerging Association of Rugby Football Unions� (I SWEAR FU!) said: �This is terrible, we�ll have to support Woodhead and his gang because there�ll be no lovable, hard-drinking, unfit Celts on the team.�

A Woodhead-appointed spokesperson for the Lions said, �Its not as if the others won�t get to make a contribution. We envisage the other home unions will supply the ball boys for the games against Wollabrawonga and Norfolk Island.�

Another added, �It is the case that Sir Clive is bringing his own team. But that�s just players, coaching staff, management, physiotherapy, trainers, dieticians, chefs and security. There are plenty of opportunities for tea ladies, drivers, sooth-sayers, porters and laundry staff.�

The �Lion King�, describing himself as �honoured� said: �Of course the minor unions will have an impact: What about Irish-born Kyren Bracken? And Jason Robinson from Gloucester � that�s practically in Wales. And Steve Thompson�s real name is McThomp. I�m just happy we don�t have to accommodate the Italians�.

Further commenting on the leaked match schedule, he said: �It won�t be 10 games. It�ll just feel that way�.

Posted by Patrick at February 6, 2004 08:52 PM