GAA fails to verifiably decommission Croke Park
Dublin and Perth 22nd October 2003.
Ahead of the first test between Ireland and Australia in the “International Rules” code that combines Gaelic Football with Aussie Rules, the Gaelic Athletic Association (GAA) has declined to offer clarification on the status of Croke Park.
The test series kicks off Friday in Perth, concluding a week later in Melbourne, with the winner being decided on aggregate scores, an influence from soccer the GAA is keen to ignore by saying: “Ha?”
Meanwhile, since the GAA's Croke Park - a 79,000 capacity stadium in the city of Dublin - does not need to be used until next year’s summer season in May, feelers have been sent out about renting the loss-making venue and playing Six Nations rugby there, thereby contributing valuable euro and even British Pounds to the stadium development.
This world-class facility has extended the seating area by purchasing airspace over the adjacent canal and railway. The “high and tight” construction gives everyone a close view of the pitch - if at the risk of a little vertigo - and creates a micro-climate that attracts 30% less rain then the surrounding area - certainly a boon for Irish crowds. It has been home to Special Olympics, rock concerts, boxing and American Football but the GAA has declined to make it available for soccer or rugby.
A spokesperson for the Association explained that this is due to “capacity constraints”.
However, the Journal has viewed secret documents that detail the GAA’s real view: “Soccer and rugby are creations of the devil incarnate and are the standard bearers of British colonial domination of Ireland, past and present.”
Independent sports analysts believe that this view is consistent with the compromise nature of bringing the codes together. "The scoring rules are already complex featuring points, overs and behinds", he explained adding that: "what they've done scored an own goal - also known as an arse”.
Due to capacity constraints in Howth for the forthcoming felicitations the event may have to be relocated to Croke Park. This correspondent has inside information which reveals that the GAA opinion is " Sure as long as they clear up before next summer we're fine- and if they get hungry enough they might even eat some of the grass. We have to cut costs where we can" !.
Posted by: sheila on October 22, 2003 11:29 PM