Tina Turner confirms her appearance at World Cup Party in Howth
Sydney and Howth 21st October 2003
In a move that brings back memories of men and women behaving badly, the International Republican Brotherhood, er, International Rugby Board (IRB) has confounded logic by scheduling Ireland’s crunch World Cup game against Argentina at 0730 on the morning after Kelly’s 21st party.
Thankfully the Howth organizers have retrieved the situation by preparing a reprise of last year’s legendary World Cup Party at Keatingstown. This time the fare will have a traditional Australian flavour with Castlemaine XXXX and bush-meat sausages from an October barbi at halftime. Commenting on the breakfast menu, the long-time vegetarian birthday girl commented: “if they’re going to behave like animals, they may as well be carnivores. Anyway, I couldn’t give a 4X about what they get up to at that hour of the morning.”
Meanwhile, Tina Turner – having returned to Arundel in a blaze of glory - has spent six months on a programme of thigh expansion exercises in preparation for her latest gig. “We didn't know there was such talent here” said one resident, “Not since Boadicea, anyway”. Tina, adjusting her wig was heard to say "But without my backing singers, it won’t be the same". The organizers hope that the unseemly row over appearance fees can be sorted out before the party.