Nike shirts biggest losers in tight contest

Perth. 18th October 2003

English and South African fashion experts were left nonplussed after the spectacular failure of England’s Nike-manufactured rugby shirts to resist the pressure of South Africa’s tearing runs at left and right. Many England players had to discard their torn shirts as the English Supporterettes screamed their approval.

With England’s Captain Invincible Martin Johnson doing impersonations of The Incredible Hulk for most of the second half, it’s clear the English were run ragged. With replacement jerseys sporting no numbers, Johnson was keen to point out: “No English players were wearing South African jerseys”, adding, “although it may have seemed that way”.

Meanwhile Springboks’ Scrum Half, Joost van der Westhuizen - himself substituted at half time because his eye-liner was running - was asked about the comparative quality of their jerseys. “Those shirts reminded me of the guns we used in the Boer War - useless. The British would bring .303s and we’d steal them, but you couldn’t hit anything they were so bad. They only won because they let us steal crap rifles.”

Posted by Patrick at October 20, 2003 04:37 PM