Keatingstown Ministry of Information accuses European Rugby Cup of complicity in "bloody lies distortion".
Toulouse and Dublin. 30th April 2003.
In an unusual statement, recently-appointed public-affairs correspondent to The Ball Street Journal, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, formerly the Internationally-accredited spokesperson for the Weapons-of-mass-destruction-storing/Al-Queda-hiding/Terrorist-sponsoring Iraqi regime has condemned a number of media organizations including the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) and Radio Telefs ireann (RT), for spreading lies, untruths, distortions - things you wouldnt tell children.
Unless you were me, he added.
The intervention comes as Irish Rugby apparently suffered a massive setback over the weekend, losing both semi-finals in the European Rugby Cup, better known for very un-Islamic reasons as the Heineken Cup to French opposition. French opposition that is oxymoron, insisted the hand-waving Mr Saeed.
What you were shown was old tapes of Toulouse beating somebody last year and Uruguay slipping past Zimbabwe in 1993 World Cup. Look close and you will see images do not lie. Asked why the sponsorship logos on the jerseys matched current agreements with banks and mobile operators, he answered: Never believe the trickery of television. Roger al-Gara score drop goal. Ball hit upright, kill touch-judge, come off crossbar, decapitate other judge. French infidels see no flag with their villainous Englishman referee accomplice.
And what about Leinsters dismal display? Lying is forbidden here. We will tolerate nothing but truth. Leinster - marvellous display. Marvellous. Truly. How they can lose when Perpignan committing suicide in back row? The bile-swilling spawn of Satan drink poison in Dublin night before game.
"Anyway, Heineken Cup not worth old shoe.
Where is tina turner? Has she been edited out?
Posted by: sheila on April 30, 2003 09:42 PM